Who Knew

by Terri McFadden

The admissions scandal that rocked the college and university world last week has stayed with me. Rather surprising given the rapidly changing, mostly awful, news we scroll through daily.

But I think this story resonated because I had no idea that I’m not living a happy, successful life. Nor, apparently are my children, and most of my friends and colleagues. This is because we’re told that only people who go to elite colleges can truly become successful. And the corollary is that only successful, rich people are really happy.

Not being a person who uses bad words, I won’t write what I’d like to. Just let me say this is one of the most absurd notions I’ve run into recently. Apparently though the rich and famous and not so famous who bribed, lied and cheated to get their children into elite schools think this way. Judging from opinion pieces I’ve read, they aren’t the only ones.

The minister at my church often says “Do we believe this to be true?” Do we, as Americans, truly believe that only those who attend elite colleges will be successful? Indeed, do we, as Americans, believe that only college educated people can be successful? Do we, as Americans, believe that only the rich are happy?

For me every question above is a resounding no! Certainly, I don’t reject education. Far from it. I love learning and spend a great deal of my time studying and reading on many topics from history to science to religion. I even attended, for a time, an elite university because I worked there and took classes practically for free. I loved it. But the best (and hardest) class I ever took, I took at my alma mater, Salem State – not from the “Best University in the World”.

For most of the people I know success is measured not in net worth and not in the schools attended. Instead, it is measured by the quality of relationships, the quality of and pride in the work you do, the esteem that others have for you and the esteem in which you hold the people in your life. The good that you do for others.

Looking out into our world through the lens of news and social media that seem to shape so much of what we see, I sometimes wonder how those people – those rich and famous who think it is okay to lie and to cheat and to steal to get what they want – how can they live with themselves? Sometimes I actually feel sorry for them, so completely have they missed living a successful life.

I want to tell them a secret: You only have one life to live. Live it with honor!